


Crooked

by yukiawison



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, angst with happy ending, injured!Keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 22:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: Lance doesn't think he's worth it. Keith gets hurt. Bruised ribs, broken noses, and downward spirals.





	

Keith had to blink a couple of times before he could really see what was in front of him. His head was pounding and with a dazed sense of dread he realized he couldn't remember where he was or what had happened besides breakfast this morning: Lance had complained about the still unappetizing food goo and Pidge had taken apart some strange techie thing on the table. 

He heard himself moan and became aware of the dull pain in his side. That hadn't been there at breakfast. He sucked in a breath but it hurt and he cried out before he could stop himself. He glanced around. He was on the couch in the common area. There was an ice pack on his chest and several pillows beneath his head. 

His vision was still blurry but it was getting better, though not sharp enough to see Lance until he was directly above him. 

"You can't do that again," he sounded angry but as his vision returned the only thing he could focus on were the bruises on Lance's eye and cheekbone and cuts on his lip and chin and shit none of that had been there this morning. He reached up to touch Lance's cheek and pain shot through his side again. "Keith, quit moving," Lance readjusted the ice on Keith's ribs. 

"What happened?"

Lance looked startled. He looked more mature all beat up like that. And he looked tired. 

"Are you okay?" Keith asked. His voice was scratchy and thin. 

"Am I okay? Are you kidding me Keith? You almost die and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"I almost died?" Keith continued to ignore Lance's instructions and tried to sit up. It hurt, a lot, and he looked down and saw that he was bleeding through his shirt. "That's a lot of blood," he said dumbly, getting a little dizzy. 

"Yeah, you idiot. And if you stopped moving I wouldn't have to do this." Lance pulled up Keith's t-shirt and Keith was feeling nauseous and light headed as soon as he looked down. He'd never been great with blood, especially not his own. Lance's hands were on his chest then, and despite his delirium he was kind of embarrassed to be touched like that. Lance was pulling out a seemingly endless amount of gauze and container of antiseptic. 

"This is gonna hurt buddy," he said. And Keith knew he wasn't kidding because he never called him buddy. 

He blinked again and bit his lip at the sharpness. He could feel tears in his eyes. Then there was gauze all over the blood, soft and clean and secured tightly with Lance's gentle hands. "Why am I not in the healing pod? Where did you learn how to bandage people up like that? Where is everyone? What happened to your face?"

"One question at a time Mullet. And stay still." He sat down in front of Keith: legs crossed on the carpet, back leaned against the couch and head turned to look at him. "First of all, that asshole Lotor took out a big chunk of the castle, right where the healing pods are. They're damaged but Coran's working on it. So you've got me. I've got six brothers and sisters. Kids get hurt. I've seen my fair share of boo boos." 

Keith laughed but then stopped because it hurt his ribs. 

"I'm not telling you anything else if you keep moving."

"Fine, fine, quit nagging."

"Everyone else is working on repairs or resting. Everyone else is fine. You and I got the worst of it...mostly you. I'm fine. I've just got a bruise or two, maybe a slight concussion. You however have several cracked ribs, a couple of nasty puncture wounds, and probably a broken nose." 

Keith's hand flew up to his face even though it hurt because he'd completely forgotten his nose was a thing. 

"Quiznak Keith, what did I tell you?"

"Sorry," he whimpered. He wondered if his nose would be all crooked now. "What did I do?"

"What?" Lance said. He leaned his bruised head in his arms. 

"You told me not to do it again. What did I do?"

Lance didn't look at him. Keith could see his banged up face in profile. "You should put some ice on that or something."

"Will you stop it?" Lance sounded angry again. His chin was trembling. 

"Stop worrying about me. That's what got you into this goddamn mess Keith and I just don't get it. Why do you give a shit about me? I don't do anything. I'm worthless here. Everyone else knows it. Shiro always looks at me like I'm the weak link. You could pilot Blue better than I can and I just...why do you have to be so stupid Keith?" He was shaking violently now, fists balled up and face somber and pale when he turned to look at him. 

"What did I do?" Keith repeated. 

"You and I were in Lotor's base," he sneered. "You remember that much? And we were ambushed. I was fighting them off the best that I could but then the building started to collapse and this beam," he gestured above himself as if the beam loomed still. "Fell right above me and you...you pushed me out of the way. Why would you push me out of the way Keith? It nearly killed you."

He got up and turned to face him, smoothing the stray strands of hair from Keith's eyes. There were tears streaming down his face: big tears that mixed with the snot and blood already on his face. 

Keith remembered now. He remembered the hot flash of panic that surged through his chest when he saw the beam start to crumble. He remembered jumping and crashing into Lance on pure instinct.

He remembered the weight of the beam on his chest, the blood gushing from his nose when it whacked him. He remembered Lance yelling and Shiro's voice in his helmet. He remembered blacking out as Lance called out for him. 

"When all of the Galra soldiers were gone I called the team and we got you out from under it. I carried you out. I was so scared," he choked. It hurt to see Lance look at him the way he was now. Keith much preferred him smirking at him or arguing or smiling at him sleepily after a long day of training. Of course Keith liked him any way he was. His heartbeat was going ballistic. 

"You aren't worthless Lance. No one thinks you're worthless," he muttered. Lance's hand was still in his hair. 

"You're delirious. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop," he sat up. It hurt a lot and his vision blurred again. He reached out to cup Lance's face in his hands. "You're a vital part of this team Lance. Why can't you see that?"

"Why did you save me?" He put an arm around Keith's back to steady him. "I'd have died probably," he said softly. "You saved my life."

"Lance," he had been meaning to tell him. It seemed on the tip of his tongue sometimes when they fought. Now didn't seem like the right time. His head was spinning and Lance was still crying and his hands burned where they touched Lance's skin. "I did it because I love you."

"You what?" He drew back and Keith's heart fell. He kept his arm around Keith's back but he was pulling away. 

"I love you Lance," his throat felt dry. "I'm in love with you." 

Lance's chin had gone all wobbly again and he shook his head violently. "No you don't Keith." 

"I do," he said, watching as Lance's image blurred with tears. 

"Keith you don't want me."

"I do," his voice cracked. "I pushed you out of the way because I couldn't imagine doing this without you. I need you Lance."

"You can't risk your life anymore you idiot. I need you too," Lance sobbed. 

"I'm sorry I scared you," Keith said. His ribs were burning but he pulled Lance toward himself until the other paladin's face was pressed to his collarbone. 

"I'm hurting you," Lance said. "Mullet quit it I'm..."

"No you're not. You aren't hurting me Lance. The only thing that hurts is that you won't let me tell you how much I care about you." Maybe Lance was right. Maybe he was too delirious to be having this conversation. He hadn't thought it would go like this. He thought he'd be more collected and less bloody. 

"I have to go," his voice was muffled against Keith's chest. 

"Don't go. Kiss me." He petted Lance's head and felt stupid. His whole chest was on fire. 

"Keith, you're not yourself. You're wrong. You don't...I can't talk about this." He pulled away and looked at him for a moment. He wiped his face on his shirtsleeve and turned to leave. 

Keith cried. He cried for a long time even though it hurt his squashed lungs and cracked ribs and bruised heart. When Pidge brought him some water and reported on the status of the healing pods he kept crying and she didn't ask questions or tell him to stop. She just got him some more ice and some tissues and washed his face with a warm cloth until he calmed down enough to thank her. 

He hiccuped. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. 

"Don't be sorry. You saved Lance Keith. You're a hero." She didn't look nearly as beat up as Lance. She had a few minor cuts and bruises (including a nasty one on her elbow she said was from shoving a Galra soldier out of her way) but she seemed altogether fine. She sat down on the coffee table across from him and fiddled with his helmet. Apparently it had been smashed somewhat from the impact and was malfunctioning. He told her she didn't have to stay but it was no use telling Pidge she couldn't do what she wanted to do. She was quiet and so was he. The longer he laid there the more everything hurt. The mission was coming back in disjointed pieces. He remembered screaming Lance's name. He remembered the dull sensation of being carried. 

"I said something I shouldn't have," he said, eyelids drooping.He was tired: so tired and still so dizzy. 

"What did you say?" She asked gently, looking up from the helmet. 

"I told him I loved him. Like three times. And he got mad," this statement came out in a vague pout that caused Pidge to stifle a laugh. 

"Oh yeah? Did you sound that conked out when you did it?"

"Just because I'm dizzy doesn't mean I'm lying." 

"You're in love with Lance?" She grinned. "Are you really saying this out loud or do you have some sort of head injury?"

Keith shook his head. "I love him. He thinks I don't." 

"He's still in shock. So are you. You should rest Keith. He'll come around when you're okay."

Keith felt like his insides were melting. "He said he was scared."

"He thought you might not wake up," she said. She looked at him with an expression he couldn't pin down: somewhere between anger and relief. "We were all really scared. But Lance was..." She put down the helmet and got up, closing the distance between them and pressing a kiss to his forehead. It was uncharacteristic for her and he tilted his head in confusion.

"He was a mess Keith. I wanted to kiss his forehead too. Matt used to do that when I was feeling lost," she looked like she was going to cry. Pidge was probably the bravest person he knew. She never gave up on her family. She never stopped looking. He'd never had anyone to look for. He hadn't had anyone to save until now. "Give him time. Rest."

"He thinks he's worthless. He needs to know he isn't," Keith said firmly. 

She shook her head aggressively and laughed in a broken way. "We all love him."

"I know."

"He doesn't know."

"I know."

He didn't see Lance again until he was recovered. Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, and Coran visited him often. In fact they hardly left him alone once he was moved to his room. The healing pods were still far from repaired. His nose was healing in a crooked fashion. His ribs still burned when he moved too much. He was bored of staring at the ceiling all day and missing training. He was really tired of Lance's excuses, relayed through other paladins. Hunk always insisted that Lance really was training or asleep or helping Coran with something and not just ignoring him. As the days stretched on the flimsier that felt. 

He saw him briefly before he went in the repaired healing pod. Allura said he'd only be in for a day or so: an assessment of the ribs, his head, and internal organs. "Not much to do about your nose anymore I'm afraid."

"It's okay. It makes him look rugged," Shiro put in. Keith laughed. 

"You can't make me laugh until my chest is fixed Shiro. It hurts."

"Won't for long, see you soon Keith," Shiro said. 

Everyone but Lance was there to see him go in. He felt numb without him there. His smile felt fake. "He's angry with me. Or he hates me. Either way he's not going to speak to me ever again is he?"

"Don't say that bud, he'll come around," Hunk said. Everyone else nodded in approval. 

Keith shrugged pathetically and backed into the pod. The mist settled over him and as the pod doors closed he saw Lance lingering in the doorway. His brow was furrowed and his bruises had healed. He didn't say anything. Keith didn't have time to. 

"I'm sorry." The first words Keith heard out of the healing pod were I'm sorry. His chest didn't feel as heavy. His head was clearer. He wasn't dizzy. 

"Lance? Where is everyone?" He looked at him. His eyes had deep bags beneath them and his mouth was a tight line. Keith missed seeing him laugh. 

"In bed. It's late. You weren't due to come out until tomorrow but I wanted to make sure you weren't alone."

"That's rich coming from you," he muttered coldly. 

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have shut you out I just..." Lance's eyes drifted their focus. 

"What?"

"Your nose, it's all crooked Mullet."

Keith crossed his arms and scowled. It was an encouraging sign that he was being called Mullet again, but he'd also just been insulted.

"It's not a bad thing I just didn't realize you'd still have scars from it," he looked down. 

"I don't regret it. You're worth saving."

Lance shook his head. "Not with the way I've been treating you." He shuffled his feet nervously. "I'm sorry Keith," he repeated. 

"I forgive you," he replied. He knew he'd forgive him if it meant Lance would talk to him again. 

"I have a big family back on Earth. And though they're all loving and supportive and great I always felt kind of lost in my own home. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I get anxious and I do stupid shit. I'm not as smart as my older sisters or as funny as my brothers. I went to the Garrison because I thought it was my chance to prove myself. I thought I could go back home as someone I liked," he took a shaky breath. "And now I might not go home. I try to be all confident and useful here but in the end I'm just not. I'm just a boy from Cuba and I'm not worth you risking your life. You're so much better than I am Keith. You fight and you give it everything. You're so stubborn and passionate and brave. I'm not like you at all Mullet. Maybe I have you beat on skin care but that's it." He laughed self-deprecatingly.

"Are you done?"

Lance looked taken aback. "Yes."

"Lance you have a place. It's right here. You think the team doesn't need you? The team would fall apart without you. I don't have any family. Well maybe my mom's out there somewhere but alien moms who leave don't count. You are the closest I've ever had to family. You keep me sane out here with your dumb jokes and your smile. You're the best shot I've ever seen. You're strong and cool under pressure and you love your friends so much I'm jealous. I can only dream of loving like that. Loving you is so hard already. I'm terrified of being hurt but you just love. You just love no matter the consequences. Why won't you let yourself be loved the way you love others Lance?"

Keith was out of the pod and inches away from him. Lance was looking at him like he had two heads. "I...shit Keith I..."

"I love you. Believe me."

"I believe you."

"I don't expect you to feel the same way I just want you to know that you are worthy of all the love the world has for you." Keith's throat felt tight. He'd never said anything like this before. He never articulated what buzzed around in his head. But a week spent bedridden had given him plenty of time to draft speeches and figure out how to get them from his head to his lips. 

"I feel the same Mullet." Lance was bright red. 

"You do?"

"Of course I do I just didn't think I...you can't go risking your life for me again," Lance's finger was in his face. "I'm serious. I was scared to death. And then you say you love me."

"I said it three times."

"And that scared me more because I knew I wasn't worth it. I'm going to disappoint you Keith."

"You won't."

"I don't believe you but I love you Keith. I love you so I'm going to try," he ran a hand through his unruly hair. "I've got some issues. I'm not sure why I'm here. But you see something in me. You see enough to keep me here. I don't deserve you but I want you more than I can bare. I certainly can't bare hiding from you anymore. So I'm going to try to be better. I'm going to try to feel better about myself. I'm going to try to make my new family proud. I'm going to try to deserve you."

Keith pulled him into a hug before he could say anything more. It lasted a long time. Lance's arms were warm and his ribs didn't hurt when he squeezed. Lance's fingers were combing through his hair and it felt right. 

"Thank you," Keith wanted to tell him that he'd had a crush on him since his days at the Garrison. He loved the way he drew light and life into everything around him. He loved his hair and his eyes and his broad shoulders. "I know it's hard."

"Promise me you won't risk your life again."

"You know I can't guarantee that in our line of work."

"Promise you'll try."

"Promise you'll try to let me in."

"I promise to try letting you in."

"I promise I'll try not to get killed."

Lance grinned. "Mine's harder." His hand slipped down to hold Keith's. "Can I kiss you?"

"Look at you getting a head start already."

Lance was almost chest to chest with him. He raised his free hand to touch Keith's cheek. 

"You can kiss me Lance."

He did. And it was softer than he expected: soft and scared and short until Keith pulled him further into it. It was odd, he thought Lance would be the one with his tongue in Keith's mouth. Instead it was the other way around. Instead Keith was leading him along. Lance, flirty as he was, was really all talk. 

"You're really good at that," Lance stuttered. "You're really very good at that."

"Knife fights and make outs are my specialty. You aren't bad yourself." His heart wasn't slowing down. 

"You should sleep. The others will be awake soon."

"Okay. Goodnight then."

"Goodnight Keith. I love you." 

Keith pressed a kiss to his forehead. It was for Pidge but he didn't say so. 

"I like your crooked nose," Lance said. "It suits you."


End file.
